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  • Writer's pictureUkinebo Dare

Say Something!

Updated: Feb 7, 2020

Ever thought..?

Where does bitterness come from? Why do I feel like breaking my boss’ head!

Have you ever felt so bad that you said hurtful things to someone you cared about? Ever reacted to something only to realize you had it all wrong.

Teju knows how you feel, she just quit her job and missed the great opportunity to head the new branch of Starje Nigeria. Here is how it happened.

"I can’t take it anymore! I just hate coming to this place every day and deceiving myself that I am happy. Nothing I do is appreciated, even if I draw my blood out, nobody will notice. See this nonsense called my appraisal, I quit!" She stormed out!

Up until 3 months ago, Teju had a great relationship with her boss, Mrs. Igure. As the administrative manager, Teju had never liked to disappoint Mrs. Igure. She had always put 110% best effort into every task assigned to her. She was managing the company relocation project and even with the tough workload, she maintained the same level of commitment until something happened.

Though she was managing the relocation to a new office, her boss handled the office assignments for management staff. Teju was shocked and surprised when she found out she had been assigned the smallest personal office of all the managers at her level. Even Charles, the training manager who had been with the company for only a month got a bigger office than her. She was gutted, she just could not fathom why Mrs. Igure would take her for granted that much.

"Is it that all the work I am doing is not appreciated? Oh! Because I am gentle right?’"

As the days rolled by into weeks, she became discouraged, she was not applying herself as much as she used to, she started missing deadlines and presenting shoddy work. Now for the first time in a very long while, she got a bad appraisal. That was when she lost it and quit.

Mrs. Igure, on the other hand, has a different story to tell:

As at 3 Months ago, Teju was one of her most dedicated and valued staff. What she appreciated the most about Teju was that her work always showed a passion for excellence and she had such a positive attitude to work. Teju had changed in the past few months and Mrs. Igure didn't know why, she was worried. ‘Maybe she is planning to move to another company. I hope not.’ She asked Teju once or twice if everything was okay, but didn’t get a clear response so she concluded that it could be a personal matter. After a while, it got out of hand.

"What is this Teju? This is below par and you know it! Should I be expected to accept this level of performance from you of all people?"

This continued until the end of the quarter. After the quarterly appraisal, Mrs. Igure called Teju into her office. ‘Teju, this is the first time I have scored you poorly since you joined us 5 years ago and I need to know why you did so badly? I expect alot from you and I hope this serves as a jolt to make you do your best from now on.’ Teju saw her appraisal and lost it. "What?! I can’t take it anymore! I just hate coming to this place every day and deceiving myself that I am happy. Nothing I do is appreciated, even if I draw my blood out, nobody will notice. See this nonsense called my appraisal, I quit!" She stormed out.

Mrs. Igure: ‘Teju come back, what is the meaning of this? Teju: ‘I quit oh! Let the special people who deserve recognition and accolades stay, I have better things to do with my life! After all, I don’t even deserve thank you, well done and so on. After 5 years of my life have gone down the drain for this useless company, I am being treated like trash, I even have the smallest office!’ Mrs. Igure was in shock but she calmed herself down and said slowly, ‘Do you want to know why you got the smaller office? Is that what this is about?’

Without waiting for a response she continued, "I am going to show you a letter which I planned to give you 2 months ago, I held on to it because of your sudden lack of dedication and the drop in the quality of your work. Certainly with this outburst of yours, you are no longer eligible for it. This is the reason you did not get a permanent office. Just read it and then you can leave." She handed over a letter to Teju from her drawer, and when Teju read the first paragraph, she could not hold back the stinging tears'

It is a pleasure to inform you that in recognition of your hard work and dedication to Starje Nigeria, you have been promoted to the position of Managing Director – Starge Norway where you will serve as the pioneer staff. We know that this is both a great opportunity and a great challenge but we are confident …

Sometimes, the biggest problems hindering our progress are the things we think we understand and yet we have no idea about.

If something is annoying, discouraging or disturbing you, don’t let bitterness take root. Don’t wait until you cannot help but explode. Here is my advice"

  • If you are hurt by a harmless gesture, try to get over it, if you cannot… Express yourself

  • If you are getting mixed signals and you can’t understand what a person wants… Clarify issues

  • If you want something and your non-verbal clues are not working… Speak Clearly

Man can see other planets with a telescope but there is no ‘mindoscope’ to accurately read thoughts. If something is going wrong and you can do something about it, don’t just stand there...

Say Something!

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